When you have chosen to go No Contact with the narcissist, you can experience missing them so much it hurts physically.. This can be confusing for you too. You are doing better without the narcissist but why are you missing them?
The narcissist has trained your brain and manipulated you in a way that you think you cannot live without them.. The narcissist’s best weapon is brainwashing and planting this thought in your brain that you will never be able to survive without them. The abusers often tell the victims that they are nothing without them.
The narcissist – whether it’s spouse or a parent – can give you an excellent feeling of belonging and connection when you are with them. Although they are abusive, manipulative and vicious, they always feed your mind with the data that you belong with them. The narcissist can give you the feeling that you are heard and understood as no one else can understand you.
You are easy prey for the narcissist because they know that you want to connect and be loved and cared for. This gives us a false sense of belonging with the narcissist when clearly, they are no good for us.
But the good news is, that if you are missing a narcissist, then you are missing the connection, love and the attention the narcissist gave you. These feelings are inside you.
To stop missing the narcissist, you should understand that love has been inside you, it was just undiscovered. The narcissist had been faking it and taking advantage of what is already inside of you and unknown to you.
The feelings and emotions are inside you and you need to own them. You might say to yourself, “I miss the feeling of being loved by XYZ”. What you should do is make that feeling in yourself stay and last long. You don’t need to go back to the narcissist, you just need to build connections with other people and share the feeling.
Any connection you make with another person can facilitate the feeling of love inside you. You don’t miss the narcissist; you miss being loved and connected. Therefore, you should learn to build the connection and nurture this feeling of love inside of you. Develop a beautiful and loving relationship with you!
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The narcissistic husband or father forces you to give up yourself, to make room for only him in your life. He will belittle you, ridicule you and scare you.
The narcissistic wife or mother manipulates you. Nothing is ever good enough for her. She will blame you for everything bad in her life.