What if I AM the one who’s seeing it wrong?
You have a person close to you who you experience as gaslighting, lying, cheating, exaggerating, manipulating, being unreasonable, abusive or aggressive.
Does that seem familiar?
But when you try to talk to them about it, they deny it.
Maybe they say you’re imagining things. Or you’re exaggerating. You’re fragile.
Or they laugh at you. Makes you doubt whether what you were experiencing was really that bad.
You become doubtful. Maybe you start being ashamed of caring about small things.
If others point out the same things, you suddenly hear yourself say that it’s probably not that bad.
“I’m going crazy!”
It is a phrase I have often heard from people close to narcissistic people.
A narcissistic person can be so adept at manipulating you that he or she makes you drop friendships, doubt yourself and your eyes, ears and thoughts.
I have met wives who were beaten and fully and firmly believed that it was because they were unreasonable. I have met husbands who gave up associating with female colleagues because their partner was jealous and had cast doubt on the colleague’s intentions.
I have met adult children who, despite never being loved, feel that they owe their parent something. Who constantly feel guilty when they do something good for themselves.
And I have experienced narcissistic people who could convince their relatives in that no one else understood them or wanted them to do well. The hunter who isolates his prey from the herd.
When are you going to believe your eyes and ears? What will it take for you to trust your instincts?
At first, it may be helpful to know exactly what methods a narcissistic person uses to lure you into their web.