When the narcissist reels you into his or her web, you have no idea what they are. There are signs to look for, but if you haven’t learned those, you can’t know what to look for.
It happens slowly, gradually over time, small episodes that turns you away from all your friends and family till you only have him or her. Then they can abuse you and tell you that everything is your fault and since you don’t have anyone to support you anymore because the narcissist mindfucked you to give up everybody you trusted.
“They don’t understand you”
“They don’t want what’s best for you, but I do!”
“We need to stick together”
“It’s us against the world”
They will isolate you, like a predator isolates their prey and break you down. They do this because they fall in love with your amazing person and then sees that they can’t match you and therefore they want to break you down, so they can feel better. “I thought you were someone special, but I can see you’re just a moron” is not an uncommon statement from a narcissist.
Watch as this lady explains it to Jo in “Grey’s Anatomy” season 14, episode 10. Jo knows exactly what the lady is talking about, because she tried it and had to disappear to get away.
The narcissist – here with clear psychopathic traits because he is violent and cunning – he knows what he is doing – is the victim of a hit and run. Most people who have been under the spell of a narcissist feel that it is hard to get past the experience without moving away from the area where the narcissist lives. In this episode the problem is solved differently and there’s probably a few spouses of narcissists who wish their abusive partner would be hit by a car or similar. It’s very normal to fantasize about revenge, however, revenge has never made anyone happy, so it’s not a good solution.
The best solution is to get away and then build a wonderful life for yourself.