Have you ever caught yourself explaining or justifying yourself to your narcissist, EVEN though THEY were wrong?
Somehow, it goes with the territory of being a decent person, that you will do your best to help others understand – you, what’s right and wrong, that they hurt you, that there is a better way, that things can be changed if they want – bla bla bla bla bla bla – we talk and talk and talk.
It’s great if we have a person in front of us who WANTS our input and who actually LISTENS to what we say.
However – and you know it’s right when I say it – narcissists do not fall into that category. They only listen if you say something that matches with the version of the world they have decided on. And they only want your input if it’s to their advantage.
And yet still you explain.
So how about you just stop?
Now you may ask “But if I don’t talk to him/her, how will I make them see that what they are doing is wrong?”
Excuse me, are you their mother? Is it your assignment to raise them and teach them moral and decent behavior?
Your task is to feel what would be good for YOU, which is most likely to remove yourself physically from the person who abuses you, mistreats you or neglects you. Before you get angry.
As soon as you feel this very recognizable feeling of being “less” or “invisible”, just get up and go. Go do something nice for you. See a friend and take them to the nearest amusement park. Go to the beach. Take a walk in the woods. Do yoga. Run. Work out. Get a massage. Something that will divert your attention from the person who does not deserve it, to YOU, the most important person in your life.
So stop explaining. Stop trying to fix them. Fix your own life and start taking care of you instead.
Stay safe and happy