The other smothers you in love and attention right from the start.
Being smothered in love and attention isn’t bad in it self, what should be a red flag to you though is not what, but WHEN.
Everyone loves to be seen as special, right? We all want romance and courtship. Being seen as special, finding our soulmate, connect with another person on a deeper level, right?
Nothing wrong with that AT ALL! If you experience this, just enjoy it!
The problem with this is that it’s a red flag if he does this BEFORE HE KNOWS YOU WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW IF IT IS TRUE!
Love bombing feels amazing, but it is just smoke and mirrors.
A love bomber can say things to you like:
“You’re really special!
I don’t think you know how special you are! But you know, I can tell because I am special like you. I have never met anyone quite like you. There aren’t many of us in this cruel world and we need to stick together. You’re an amazing person and I know, because I am amazing too, so II recognize that in you.
Beautiful inside and out. Yeah, I haven’t met you yet, but you make me want to be the best version of me that I can. You…well, I almost don’t have the words to describe you, but if I could, I’d pick a star of the sky and give it to you, because that’s how I feel about you. You and me, we’re soulmates, 2 of a kind and we belong together. I feel in every fiber of my body!”
If you have done your personal work, you will know yourself and you will know not to fall for romantic bullshit too early in the relationship. Hey, you can enjoy it, but what you have to be aware of, is the alliance they are making with you. The whole “Us against the world”-narrative and the putting you on a pedestal, which is really toxic and unhealthy. If you buy into it, you can expect it to turn into either possession, where the other will try to isolate you from friends and family. It can also turn into expectations of you giving them back what they give you and then it’s not real. When we give without expectations, it’s truly giving, but if we give to get, we’re on a toxic path. Love bombing can also turn into a loyalty game. Because they made you sound so amazing, you now have to be loyal to them to get more of it. And of course, most of the time, the love bombing will die down after 3-6 months and you’ll be asking yourself what happened to that romantic guy you thought you had.
It’s a mindfuck, and that’s all it is. Sorry. Don’t let yourself be lured into a commitment with a person who doesn’t know you or thinks you 2 are more special than everyone else.
