If you feel disrespected, it doesn’t matter if it’s NORMAL where you come from.
YOU have to be your best friend and take you seriously. You think about your dysfunctional and abusive boyfriend and father and ask on the internet, on Facebook if it’s really abuse and what you can do about it, seeking to get some kind of answer that will finally be PROOF that you can leave in good conscience.
But honey, you WILL feel guilty, because narcissists groom you to feel guilty and flawed, so you CANNOT get that answer. You have to leave EVEN if you feel guilty and just do therapy and personal work. You have to live with that damn guilt until it SLOWLY goes away. There is nothing anyone can tell you that you don’t already know and nothing anyone can tell you that will justify you leaving them – in THEIR eyes.
I can’t help you. No one can. No one can give you the kick in the balls that you need to get up and go. You have to do it on your own. Because if you don’t, if you leave because of something I said, you can use that as an excuse to go back.
There is only one question in the whole wide world that can give you a clear answer to your situation: “Are you happy?” If the answer is no, find out how you can make you happy. Without being dependent on other human beings, how can YOU make YOU happy? Make it your one and only goal to figure this out and you’re doing exactly what is needed to become happy. Little by little you will move in the right direction and find clues and steps to build the life you hoped for in those bright moments where you felt it was possible to live an amazing life!
