When you realize that one of your family members – or your spouse – is a narcissist and you make up your mind to leave them and walk away, you will most likely feel guilty.
Know this: The guilt you feel at this point is not real.
This guilt is the result of brainwashing that narcissists has been doing for a long time. It stops you from choosing to save yourself and getting a chance to grow and discover yourself. The unreal guilt tricks your brain so you think that you cannot turn your back and leave them – you owe them.
To get rid of this unreal guilt, you can think of it as an addiction. Just like when you stop smoking, you want to smoke but you have to fight the craving and acknowledge that what you want is not good for you. The guilt of leaving the narcissist is also an addiction that keeps pulling you back.
When I went No Contact with my father, it took me 2 years to overcome the guilt of leaving him. I told myself again and again, that he was a grown-up man and he could handle himself, go for therapy, and learn to create healthy relationsips with other human beings. I am not responsible for his happiness; he is responsible for it. I told myself the same thing over and over again – he is NOT MY problem.
If you are feeling guilty because you left the narcissist behind, ask yourself this golden question: “What can I do for me right now that will make it good to be ME?”
If you think about the narcissist you will only feel bad about yourself and guilty for not doing anything for them. Turn your attention to this question and stop taking responsibility for the narcissist. Stop thinking about them altogether and focus on yourself.
Ask yourself the golden question again and again and make yourself strong and better. The guilt will vanish slowly but surely over time!
Click on a book cover to get more tools to handle the narcissist in your life:
The narcissistic husband or father forces you to give up yourself, to make room for only him in your life. He will belittle you, ridicule you and scare you.
The narcissistic wife or mother manipulates you. Nothing is ever good enough for her. She will blame you for everything bad in her life.